good visit today

Had a good visit at the hospital today. My kidney #s are correcting themselves, and they hope to be able to further back me off some of the immune suppressants after the Day 60 bone marrow biopsy, which will be next Thu. May 1. I should get the results of that biopsy on Fri. May 9, and we may then be released to return home to Waldoboro - pray with us toward that end! We think that perhaps due to the increase in activity level and such, I have lost another 4 lbs., and am now down to 181, although the doc wasn't as concerned about it as I had previously thought. I almost feel like I need to set up an eating schedule, but I know I just can't eat sometimes. The doctor said he was very encouraged to see me doing so well. Keep up the prayers...they are making a difference!

No real news...all going smoothly

There's not really anything new to report, other than the fact that I continue to increase strength and stamina, and have now increased the length of my daily walk by 50%. It has been REALLY nice to have 9 days between doctor's visits, and we hope to learn Friday when my next bone marrow biopsy will be - hopefully, sometime next week. I know I will need some treatment this week, as I'm due for my every-other-week iv/ig treatment this week, and perhaps some magnesium or sodium or something else, but maybe my kidney #s will have improved even further, and all of those electrolyte levels will have corrected themselves. We'll find out Friday! Continue to pray for weight gain, as I'm still pretty thin and most of my clothes still kind of "hang" on me, or so Lisa tells me. I'm just glad to be out of the XL dept.! I don't want to go back to XL, but filling out my large's would be nice. I'll update again after the visit on Friday.

no update...just some thoughts on suffering

One of my favorite preachers/writers/thinkers is John Piper, and he recently 2 message series at a conference in the UK on "Treasuring Christ and the Call to Suffer". You can listen to the messages online or download them from Piper's own website, Desiring God, here. In reading notes about the message on another blog, I came across this quote:

"God is both healer and the one who satisfies the suffering soul. We can glorify God by being healed. Piper said he believes wholeheartedly in the gift of healing. He thinks we should ask God to heal people by placing hands on the sick person’s shoulder. No need to add magic words. “If it be your will.” Just ask. Do what you would want someone else to do for you. If you love people, you will pray for them.

But in verse 23 we groan inwardly. In the midst of suffering that is not removed by healing, the cross purchased the grace to still be satisfied in God. Even we groan. This is there to prevent over-realized eschatology. Since Christ has purchased healing some say it is all now. Excessive charismatics get the notion that we can have every healing now. In fact, the sustaining grace is normal in this age, and the healing grace seems less common. God wants the people around us to marvel at the worth of Jesus when we love him in pain.

Why does the proportion of these two graces work the way it does? When a person is miraculously healed of a cancer, there are several things about that which do not bring as much glory. There are several ambiguities about healings that mean less praise might go up to God. First of all, people doubt the medical side of it and say that the original pictures were wrong. Second, are people praising the glory of Jesus or are they giving glory to health? Third, a few years later the healing is probably largely forgotten and there are no more prayer meetings for that man. In a sense that is perhaps why God doesn't always heal—in order that the value of Christ might be seen in a man who goes on loving God in the midst of suffering."

These are some new thoughts for me on some possible reasons why God may have chosen not to heal me or end my "unexpected journey" with cancer yet - perhaps his greater desire is to develop the prayer lives of myself, my family, my church family, and many friends all over the world, to develop my dependence on Him for daily strength and stamina, or just because He gets greater glory through the choices I make in the midst of dealing with cancer than He would if I was healed (miraculously or through the medicine, treatments, and doctors). If any of those are true (and we will most likely never know this side of heaven), and God is truly sovereign over the lives of all men (and I believe He is!), then I have no choice but to submit to God's will and simply live and make choices that honor and glorify Him today, in whatever condition I find myself, and when it comes right down to it, neither do any of us that call ourselves followers of Jesus.

All quiet on the medical front

I had another Dr. visit today, which was thankfully shortened because my liver numbers have improved enough that I was able to get away with an oral prescription instead of an IV treatment today, so we were in at 8am and out by 10:30am! Everything looked good, and the good news was that the liver numbers all improved at least slightly, and they had been steady at their out-of-whack levels for several weeks. I do not have to return until next Friday, which will be a great blessing. Continue to pray for appetite and weight gain - even with some increase already, I am just maintaining weight at 185, which is better than continuing to lose, but obviously not as good as putting 5-10 lbs. back on, which is what they'd prefer to see. Well, Rome wasn't built in a day and I didn't lose the weight in a week or two, so I shouldn't be surprised that it's taking a while. At least we've stopped the downward trend and with any luck, will start rising a bit. Thanks for continuing to check in, and for continued prayers and encouragement.

great news...as good as it gets!

I had a good visit today with Dr. Hill, followed by infusions of magnesium and Iv/Ig (a protein that all transplant patients need every 2 weeks for a while after transplant).
The highlight of the day actually came right after we got back home - there was a message to call in, as they had the results of my bone marrow biopsy. First, there were no signs of cancer in the marrow, which we didn’t expect but is good, nonetheless. Secondly, the results of my chimerism studies came back this afternoon, and show that I am already 95% engrafted, which is pretty high for only 30 days out. Usually you work up to 90-95% within the first 100 days. What this means is that my blood and marrow are already showing up as 95% “donor” (new me) and only 5% “old me”. They consider anything above 90% fully engrafted, so there really isn’t room for improvement, but they will monitor every 30 days to make sure the graft remains.
My kidney numbers are still a bit out of whack, but after consulting with the kidney doc, Dr. Hill has decided to chalk it up to some of the meds I am on, which we can't exactly stop or back off, and so we're just going to watch the numbers carefully to make sure they don't go any higher. My kidneys are just "off" enough that my creatinine is high, magnesium & sodium are low, and potassium is high, though none of them are in the danger level. They told me today that I will need to plan to get weekly infusions to treat these deficiencies, which will just make the days I have dr. visits about an hour or two longer.
More good news - they have decided I can now go to once a week visits, so the only day I have to trek up to the hospital next week will be Wed. Starting the following week, we are going to try to have our weekly visits on Friday, as it seems to be a quieter day up there, and Dr. Hill is seeing patients almost all day.
So, praise God with us that all signs of the cancer are gone (results of my last chest CT scan were also clear of any sign of cancer, and that's the last place we saw it), I am already fully engrafted, and am stepping down to weekly visits. All are definite signs of progress! Continue to pray for my strength, energy, & stamina to return, and thanks for checking in.

lotsa docs!

We were at the hospital yesterday from 9:30am - 5:30pm, and then back today for a consultation with a kidney specialist after lunch. Needless to say, I am glad I don't have to return until Friday. Yesterday, we began the day with a CT scan, followed by the normal blood labs and a visit with Dr. Hill, and then I had to get infusions to increase my magnesium and decrease my potassium, both of which worked for now.
We discovered I had lost about 9 lbs. in the past week, and am now down to 184. I was told that I need to force myself to eat more often (at least 5 times/day), and was encouraged to eat pretty much anything that looked/sounded good to me. It was strange advice for me, but I understand the intent. They are not terribly concerned about my weight yet, but really don't want me losing any further weight. I was told to go for the gusto on ice cream, shakes, pudding, smoothies, and pretty much anything with high protein and calories. We also figured out that part of my stomach distress at night may be stemming from the fact that I take 12-15 pills just before going to bed, and have been doing it on an empty stomach. Last night, I tried eating a little something with it, and had no problems, so hopefully that problem has been solved.
The kidney specialist today looked at my numbers, which have been consistently high for a week now, but said there's not a whole lot we can do to change it, and for now, we should just watch and wait and hope they eventually come down and don't go any higher. I do have to do one other test on the kidney, but it hasn't been scheduled yet.
I am feeling quite a bit better, and have more energy than I did even this weekend. I was encouraged to hear Dr. Hill say that if my lab numbers are good enough this Friday, we could look at going from 2x/week visits to weekly visits! I also found out that we will not see any results from the bone marrow biopsy until at least Friday. Keep praying!

Had good visits with both Dr. Hill & the infectious disease doc yesterday, and things continue to look good. Lab #s looked better, no fevers, and Dr. Hill even said it appears I am engrafting well. I had my 30 day bone marrow biopsy, which will give the first real empirical evidence of how much I've engrafted. We hope to have those results Mon., but won't hold our breath. Each day, I get stronger, my appetite is improving, and I'm feeling better. Though most of my skin is now dry & flaky, my hands are much less swollen & sensitive, which makes a lot of things easier.

progress being made

I had my first visit with the transplant doctor in the clinic today since being discharged on Sat., and it went reasonably well. They are a bit worried about some of my blood #s, but only marginally so, and not enough to do anything except watch them when I go in again on Friday. We did have to wait almost 2 hours to see the doc, which was frustrating, but there was some sort of emergency in the clinic, so we made do as best we could. At least I was able to lay out on the exam table, although both Lisa and I had to cover up with our jackets, as it was FREEZING in the exam room today. So, the plan is now for me to get more lab work done on Fri., visit the infectious disease specialist (just to check on my lung status), have another visit with Dr. Hill around 10am, and then I have my 30 day bone marrow biopsy on Fri. at lunchtime. Pray the biopsy goes well, and shows that the donor's cells are at least starting to take over. Right now, the best thing you could pray for is my dry skin, which is due to GVHD. My hands, knees, and to a lesser extent, my face, are all peeling, cracking, and flaking away. While this is a sign that the donor's cells are taking over, and is thus an overall good thing, it still makes the skin puffy, swollen, dry, & tender. They gave me some tips today on some stuff I can use to moisten the skin while waiting for the sloughing off process to complete. They also told me that for most people, these symptoms only last 2-3 weeks before fading away. I'll try to update again when there's more news to share. Thanks for your continued love, prayers, & support!